So I had more ravioli for dinner tonight – just five this time – along with a bunch of broccoli. I was really craving vegetables.
However, I felt as I was finishing dinner that I was going to want something more tonight. I mean I felt that even while my stomach was full (which it still pretty much is at 9pm). I really didn’t think much past that at the time as I was busy getting my kids ready to go to Trunk or Treat. But since the thought crossed my mind at that time, I know it was/is psychological.
We went to Trunk or Treat and stayed about an hour and a half. The kids had a little of their candy. Now I’m here at home, uploading Trunk or Treat pics to Facebook and thinking, I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry…but I’m not.
So let me think this through.
Observation #1: I Feel I Have to Limit Ravioli as a Food
Last night, I got on the scale after having ravioli and noticed I was up a pound. Therefore, I felt even before I started eating them tonight that I would have to limit them. So I set myself up for feeling deprived even before I took my first bite.
Observation #2: I Feel Today’s Food Should Have Been “Enough”
I’m sure I had quite a few calories today, so I feel I should be all done for the day, energy needs-wise. That means “no more!” and “no more” always means, Oh no, what if I’m starving anyway…what if I can’t resist a snack…what if…what if…what if…ZOMG the Famine Apocalypse has set in.
Observation #3: It Was a “Treat” Night But I Didn’t Have Any Treats
Adding to all of this is the Trunk or Treat factor. It was an exciting night for the kids, it was a party atmosphere and everyone was snacking. My stomach was full, so I didn’t have anything. And the goodies weren’t all that great anyway. Dots, lollipops, animal crackers…not snacks I’d usually go crazy for. But everyone else pigged out and I didn’t and that gave me that “I missed out and oh my goodness, such an opportunity will NEVER come again” feeling.
But of course it will…and probably with better treats! My God, if I really want a treat I can just go down to Stater Brothers and buy something awesome there…or get a treat at Starbucks…or the bakery…or literally anywhere, any time. I am a grownup and I have a debit card.
Even with these observations, I can’t guarantee I won’t eat again tonight. I may genuinely become hungry again. I may slip up even without being genuinely hungry. Who knows? But I’m trying to uncover the reasons behind wanting to have food when my body doesn’t need it, so I’m glad I did this exercise rather than just fighting endlessly with myself all evening until I finally wound up face-down in a bucket of ice cream.