Happy Halloween!

Look at my precious boys. Everyone should love each other this much, all the time.

Look at my precious boys. Everyone should love each other this much, all the time.

Halloween is my favorite holiday and so far we’re celebrating it to the hilt! Everyone have a wonderful, delicious, spooky day.

I’m feeling much better about my eating and myself today. Just going to fill up and not worry about it. It seems like I was doing better before I tried to make things “more healthy.” I’m so new to intuitive eating and I’m rushing myself through the steps. I need to take a deep breath and slow down. It will come.

Everyone have a wonderful Halloween!

Still Not Quite Getting It

I know I’m still not quite getting this, and it’s bothering me.

I know I’m overeating at meals. Not binging, certainly, but I’m eating past the initial feeling of fullness. I still worry: what if I don’t have it now? What if I never get to have it again? It’s dinner time – if I don’t have this dessert today, it will be a whole other day before I can have it. How can I possibly wait that long? And why should I, dammit? When I think about not having that dessert, and the entire night in front of me, I just feel an odd sense of loneliness.

And…an inner part of me is rebelling against not overeating. I know I have to explore that further. I don’t know yet quite what this means.

One other thing. To my shame, I’m still weighing. No gain so far, and really, no loss either. And I’m frustrated by that. I am still afraid to let go of weighing. I’m still afraid that if I do, I’ll just balloon up to 250 pounds.

I’d love any thoughts, if you’d like to share.

Energy!

Whoa. Holy energy, Batman! With the exception of Sunday, when I was dragging around the place (it turns out I was getting a migraine – I should have known), eating is giving me ENERGY.

Who the hell needs this?

Who the hell needs this?

Yeah, I know…who knew. :p

It could be a combination of things, actually. A steady and (I think) reasonable intake of food, eating when hungry and hence, when the body demands it; plus just not fighting with my body all day, every day.

It’s amazing to wake up in the morning without the thought that it’s going to be another fight with food that I’ll probably lose. So that’s most likely lifting that “I just don’t want to get up and live my day” feeling.

Another possible tie-in is the fact that dieting/restricting can make the thyroid run sluggishly. Since I am already hypothroid, perhaps not dieting is causing my thyroid to function a bit better. Without tests, I really don’t know, but it seems logical.

Happy thyroid?

Happy thyroid?

Yesterday I cleaned the house, did my work-work (what I like to call my freelancing), took care of the kids before and after school as usual, cooked a gigantic dinner including a four-hour turkey breast, mashed potatoes, stuffing and gravy (I actually needed very little of this, a few forkfuls of each), and was still wondering at the end of it all whether I should bake a nice batch of brownies for my husband (the only reason I didn’t is that I found out I’m out of oil).

Energy! It’s a wonderful thing.

It’s a Record

Cheering for my Steelers is probably pretty much a bust at this point - so just cheer for me instead! pittsburghurbanmedia.com

Cheering for my Steelers is probably pretty much a bust at this point – so just cheer for me instead! pittsburghurbanmedia.com

Well, it’s official: I have now been intuitively eating for five days.

“So what,” you say? So would I, if I read that and didn’t know me.

This is actually the longest I’ve gone on any eating plan (or, well, technically I’m off all of them) in the past six years.

Yes, for real.

Can I get a “rah, rah, sis-boom-bah”?

Why, It’s…(Wait For It) Another Book!

Look at the 90s hair! But she still looks thin on the back cover (with more updated hair).

Look at the 90s hair! But she still looks thin on the back cover (with better hair).

Yeah, I know, shocker: Mel is reading another “eating” book.

I think I may have previously given a heads-up that I had this one on order. It’s How to Become Naturally Thin By Eating More, by Jean Antonello. I found it while searching intuitive eating. This one apparently focuses on how dieting causes binging by primarily a physiological, not psychological, mechanism.

It’s another anti-dieting book, and in fact, calls itself so.

I’ll let you know what I think. If you’ve read the book, I’d be glad to hear your thoughts.

A Normal Breakfast

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Breakfast a la normal.

So I had eggs, toast and coffee this morning. Just like my parents or grandparents may have eaten (and often did).

Delicious and filling.

I used real butter (gasp!) in the cooking and on the toast. Made me think of Saturday morning at my grandma’s house.

I didn’t start at a number (level of hunger) and I didn’t stop at a number. I simply started cooking when I thought, “Hmm, I’m hungry,” and finished eating when I thought, “Hmm, that was enough.”